…or shall I say fifteen things I wished I understood when I was fifteen…
You see, there are many advices you get all throughout your life. Some you listen to, and some that just go straight through one ear and out the other. I mean some stuff is just so damn useful, but I guess being young and ‘stupid’ we tend to ignore stuff. Now I don’t really mean stupid, I don’t think we’re stupid beings. I just think we are a lot more selective to what we want according to our feelings upon a certain topic, compared to what we get told. Whether we like to admit it or not, we are so much more connected to our feelings than we think.
I for one, have always been the kind of person that really feels things. Not physically, I mean I like that too… (no, not that) but like I remember when I was younger I could feel when someone was upset but pretended to be fine. Or when my neighbour passed away. I felt it before I seen it. Like my gut really is alert. Even now sometimes, I tend to keep visualising certain people when they are going through a hard time. I’d call them up and be like what’s up? And they’d tell me what they’re going through. It’s weird. How we can sense this stuff and still sometimes be insensitive. Like block it out. And that’s why I said ‘things I UNDERSTOOD when I was fifteen’. Cus let’s be honest, we get told a lot of different things. But we don’t pay attention to them because we don’t think it’s right. Why? Cus we’re surrounded by people who feel the opposite. We rebel. But if we sat down and really got down to why we’re being told this? I’m sure we’d understand it a lot better.
So, fifteen things I wish I understood when I was fifteen:
1. Adults Don’t Really Have It Together
When we are younger, we always think adults have it all pulled together, and we just really want to be older. We don’t want to be young and not ‘responsible’. We want authority. Independence. We find the adults in our lives have all the answers, they know what they’re doing and its all good. They can do whatever they want and there’s nothing anybody can do about it. But the truth of the matter is not all adults have it together, in fact, many adults walk about life just ‘winging’ it. They’re just really good at pretending that things are okay and they know what they’re doing. Some may do it to show their children and other family members that they have everything under control, others just so that they ‘think’ they have control. Thinking about this, it makes me think that ‘adulting’ isn’t that hard – moreover, it makes me think how I would like to be as an adult.
2) Decisions = Responsibility
The infamous “I can’t wait to be older, I’ll make my own decisions and do whatever I want” line. When you’re young that sounds perfectly understandable. Nonetheless, the minute you land in the ‘real world’ you see that every decision you make comes with a consequence and whether you like it or not, every decision you have made, you would need to live with the consequences. Your whole future is dictated by simple decisions of what time you want to go to bed or how many Ferrero Rochers you eat.
3) Driving is AMAZING, but the Expenses, Not So Much
I’ve always loved driving, anything with an engine is my go-to. I have this thing where I want a license for everything engine-related possible (one day!) – but until then, I’d want my younger self to know that it is EXPENSIVE! License fee, Fuel costs, MOT checks, and the general upkeep of the car. This also includes the fact of having to drive yourself around when you don’t want to. Of course I will never advise you to drive if you are not feeling right – we do not want any more accidents on the road, which would then turn into more expenses for yourself. Sometimes being a passenger is actually an advantage.
4) Working isn’t always fun!
Being fourteen / fifteen we imagine ourselves being these top notch professionals with meaningful jobs. Picturing ourselves being career ready in our perfectly ironed garments, going to work with a smile on our faces and collecting our huge pay checks. Then going to spend the hard earned cash and enjoy each moment. For some of us, a few of these ideologies do become true, but for others not so much. Some of us do a full 360 spin and do something completely different and genuinely enjoy it. Nonetheless, there are many not so perfect moments, many times where you snooze your alarms and wear wrinkly shirts to work with the “I don’t care” attitude. Although you do, but it just isn’t your day. Also, that huge pay check we thought we were going to get and how it would cover all our expenses? Yeah, that doesn’t quite go to plan either. Things sometimes don’t quite turn out as luxurious as we thought they would, but it doesn’t matter, as long as you are happy where you are now. If not, lets start making some changes.
5) EAT THE DAMN COOKIE!
I see a lot of our youngsters these days are so worried about how they look and if they eat much they would become over weight. That is not true! Although eating excessively could impose health issues, having that odd cookie would not ‘damage’ you. I think we as a society have become so focused on how we look and how we are perceived by others that we have forgotten how we should feel. What’s important is that we are getting in all nutrients and we are not starving our bodies from the food and liquid we need to survive. So go on, enjoy your younger years, eat, drink, play hide and seek (there’s no such thing as your too old for that). It’s all good!
6) FAT?! Where’s the fat?
One thing I want you all to believe is that you are NOT fat! Wear that dress you love. Wear those jeans. Be proud of the young person you are. Honestly! You. Are. NOT. Fat. Beautiful. Thats what you are. Just the way you are!
7) Nope. Take away the make up bag.
Yes! you read that correctly. You do not need that foundation. No matter how much you think you do. The flaws you see in your skin are only in your head. Your skin is beautiful without makeup. You do not have a single fine line or wrinkle. That’s a blessing. Enjoy the days when caking your face with layers of make up, just to look presentable isn’t presentable.
8) Don’t be afraid to chase your dreams!
GO! go after your wildest dreams. When we are younger, we don’t realise, the years pass by so quickly. Don’t be afraid to start going after those crazy dreams, not everyone is going to agree with them, but they could be the best thing that happened to you.
9) Plans, What plans?
You can plan your life away at fifteen, but honestly speaking, it doesn’t really go quite work out. Having a month-by-month plan of your twenties is commendable but not so realistic. Although its great to have goals and plans, have a generic idea of what you want your life to look like, but don’t hit that panic button when it doesn’t go to plan. This my friends, is what you call life. Enjoy it. Don’t sweat the small stuff.
10) College or University isn’t as stressful as you may think!
You may think that graduating from your respected institute of study would mark the end of your worries. Think again. Little by little life tends to find its way to stress you out that little bit more. Just remember that it will pass. No difficulty stays forever and little by little it will be followed with ease. In the meantime though buckle down, young one. It’s going to be a long ride.
11) But… My Friends..
You will lose some friends along the way but it is okay. I know it feels like the end of the world sometimes, but the quicker you get over it, the better. As you go along, you’ll know the people who are going to stick by you and who you’ll lose at some point in life. Truth is, ten years on, you may not even know your ‘best friends’ from then. So relax, enjoy your time with the people who are there and its fine to let people go who don’t want to be.
12) Be Nerdy!
Educate yourself. Its the best tool you have in life. Although some get picked on for being ‘nerdy’ just remember its not them who would be giving you the answers to your tests and nor would they be smiling when you are successful in your respected careers. So the next time someone laughs at you for carrying your books around, just smile and remember who’s going to be the boss in the next few years.
Everyone has boy troubles when they are younger. Thats a given. but how you handle those situations are what differentiates you from the others and ultimately how you help yourself. You see, if a boy acts like he doesn’t care about you, chances are, he genuinely doesn’t care about you. Boys are very simple creatures, you just have to accept it and move on. We females have a way of making excuses for others, especially men, so if he is showing no interest, move on. Making excuses will only make it worse for you in the long run, and I tell you what, you don’t need that. You’ll definitely be saving yourself from a broken heart. Count it as a blessing and move on.
14) Mean girls…
…Do not always win. Trust yourself and stick to your morals. Keep being nice, nice people do not always finish in last place. Live your life to the fullest with full integrity and you’ll be proud of the person you’ve become.
15) School photo outfits.
If you’re anything like me, you would still have your school photos saved somewhere and every so often when you have a clear out, you’ll see them. Now, would you want to have pictures of those crazy prints and weird accessories? They definitely wouldn’t do you any favours, so do us all a favor and pick some nice solids. I mean I’m no fashion guru but if I could go back, I think that’s something I would do. Ditch the butterfly clips and enjoy the process. Don’t worry, not everything has to match, but just so that you don’t look back and think … WHAT THE HECK?! There is so much we don’t know at 15. But that’s totally fine, this is what we call life. Soak it all in, do your best and someday, you’ll look back and think damn, who’s that cutie!
So thats all folks, fifteen things I wish I understood when I was fifteen. There is so much that happens in life and honestly, a lot of the times, we barely even remember when we were fifteen, but it is okay, we are born to explore, embarrass ourselves and keep moving forwards. Its all part of our journey.
“Let others lead small lives, but not you. Let others argue over small things, but not you. Let others cry over small hurts, but not you. Let others leave their future in someone else’s hands, but not you” – Jim Rohn